Friday, June 4, 2010

Grasping the line of insanity; toeing the boundaries of beauty
Too far gone to be what she “should be”

Loving eyes, with meaningful ties
Embrace the broken to break them anew with their lies

Fingernails black and bloodied, studded, ebony overwhelming
A heart that is loyal eyeliner conceals

A guise that defends; a means to an end
Keeps heartbreakers at bay prevention is key; just pretend

By Mical Edstrom©
Burning, stinging
Bleeding, ringing
Happy, so surprising
(That I’d ever turn out like this)

Wondering, dreaming
Wishing, drowning
Easy, who’d of thought
(That I’d ever turn out like this)

Staring, glaring
Stunning, hopeful
Funny, nobody guessed
(That I’d ever turn out like this)

Controlling, directing
Deceiving, gladly
Everything led up to, yet nothing foretold
(That I’d ever turn out like this)

By Mical Edstrom ©
I wonder if you gaze at the stars
And I wonder if it’s the same for you
I’ve lied and wrecked as many hearts
As the stars of the night
This exposed ambiance
Bares my every fear
My every guilty lament
My every sick craving
I can't bear the feelings that arise
When I perceive this naked magnificence
Goading, messing with my head
Slithering into my stomach
It dares me to reveal myself
Shrinking my every dream,
Each hope and warmth,
Amplifying my demons

Oh, their hopes and dreams
I shattered
In a haze of self-pity
In anger I threw your smiles
Into the flaming pits of my regret
From the broken grasp of my love
I ran away, and you came after
Until you saw I didn’t want you
I couldn’t let you make me better
I wish you would know
Its not you, it is me
I can’t stand my pathetic weakness
Wretched and feeble
Corrupt and depraved
Can’t stand how I smiled when I broke your heart
I can’t stand how I watched myself
Fall apart
Fall away… fall into forever
Alone and so unreachable
Salvation unattainable

By Mical Edstrom ©

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Please, please, please

Today iGive is donating $1 to TWLOHA for each new sign up. After signing up all you have to do is visit a store (no purchase required) for the $1 to count. [[[90 seconds of your day will work towards promoting hope and finding help for those struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide.]]]

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

There she goes
There she goes again
Racing through my brain
And I just can't contain
This feeling that remains

There she goes
There she goes again
Pulsing through my veins
And I just can't contain
This feeling that remains
Some people are passionate about baby seals and endangered cockatoos or whatever, but I'm passionate about people. Did you know that a suicide occurs approximately every 17 minutes in the United States?...
( found at: )


Suicide is not a solution,

Suicide is an end...

Before a solution is found.

“Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds
resources for coping with pain.”

[If anyone ever needs to talk, I'm here, and I'd love to.]

I found this post in a quite interesting myspace page, so I'm quoting it:
"my life revolves around:
blowpops, laughing until i cant breathe, movie line text messages, senior fears, painting my toe nails, picking flowers, driving like a maniac, watching 90s cartoons at 3 in the morning, dreaming about marrying strangers, shitty ex boyfriends, eating a deck of cards, fantasizing about being famous, meeting strangers from the internet, planning my next tattoos, taking pictures of myself everyday, singing along to songs i dont know, hooking up with old friends, midnight food-runs, never leaving my phone, dancing around my house in my panties, smoking pot, having a foul mouth, spending my empty weekends with my brothers friends, hating my family, talking to the voices in my head, chewing my nails, wearing skinny jeans in 120 degree weather, slapping on guy deoderant, living off of soup and salad, wishing i liked my clothes better, jamming safety pins through my lips, waking up hungover, drinking water, always having my ipod with me, refreshing myself with perfume every hour, riding quads through mud puddles, crashing boats into sandbars, wanting to travel the world just for food, forever wondering about matt, living with my stepmom, moshing at concerts, memorizing entire movies, losing my temper, counting everything, being paranoid, living with cancer, wanting to fuck seth rogen, burping, fidgeting with my hair, trying to find out who my real father is, always being cold, stretching at 1130 at night, loving oldies songs, being an 80s fanatic, loving huge sunglasses, choosing fat guys over skinny ones, wanting to be skinny, being a recovering drug addict, enjoying theatre class, buying extension mascara, having ocd, secretly wanting to be a teacher, wanting to go to the boardwalk, being a hopeless romantic, being lactose intollerant, making bad decisions, duct taping my shoes, having petty arguements, watching antm and bravo all day, wishing i had a thick scottish accent, having naturally red hair, loving spicy food, getting money sent to me by my sisters, regretting ever seeing him naked, popping my knuckles, loving hipbones, cliff jumping, hating the sight of fish touching in water, barely graduating, wanting 800 dogs, hoping i marry rich, always having to pee, thinking about becoming amish, sharpening my teeth, not acting on homicidal urges, wishing werewolves were real, being in love with andy dick, playing the violin, swooning over ufc fighters, writing on my skin, dying to thizz, hating twilight, getting lost in dark alleys, always in constant motion."

Monday, March 22, 2010

I have been thinking a lot about tats lately. :P
Sometimes I really wonder how I get myself into it all. I am self-diagnosed bipolar and I can't make up my mind.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Ask me anything you will:

Sunday, January 24, 2010

A gust, a breath

Life's abandoning draft

Hollow corridors




Hearts pumping, pause

Dwell in fear

Desolate souls afraid




A whispering wind

Warns of decease

Void eyes cavernous ears



So heed

Friday, January 1, 2010

you say come all ye weary, and when I can't walk to you on my own, you run and you find me. how do you love me?