How? How? How?,
I think, maybe being rebellious would be acting real. Ending the hypocrisy.
No, I am rarely honest, or nice. I don't read my bible everyday, and guess what! Sometimes I even forget to pray; to talk to my saving grace, my only hope to be free from myself. I'm SO selfish and insecure. I am jealous, and I have a horrid pride. I think of pleasing people, so often, before I think of pleasing God. I think of myself, how everything effects me. I think of me, and myself only.
Then, once in a while, I cry out. I remember what an idiot i am--wake up call! I hear--I listen. I seek change, ever so slowly. I resist. I fall. I fail so frequently. This is only the beginning. But I try, you can give me that little bit.
I will seek change in this reckless heart.
So there it is. I am not what you think of as a "Christian".
I am trying to end this conjecture of those who want to love God, who try.
I want to rebel. From the rash trend of conformity, this masquerade.
Am I alone?